he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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