Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
