Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
