Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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