I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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