i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
