Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
