I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
