I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
