Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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