he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
