I want to have your abortion
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
