dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
