i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
