she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
you never un-have a 4some
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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