It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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