that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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