Screwed.edu
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
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