So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
