Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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