why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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