3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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