im drinking this country out of the recession.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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