(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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