I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
