My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
