so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
