he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize