Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
