im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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