She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
