i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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