I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
