walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
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