like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I wanna passion pit in your ass
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
