dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
