If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
