dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i think i just lost a toe
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
