Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
