Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
