How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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