he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
