Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
