dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
