You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
