i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
My vagina just clenched in fear
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
