Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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