Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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