She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
