I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
