running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
