I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
